Dear Nigerian Homophobe

As life-long members of the World Federation of Homophobes (WFH) – a federation which has been in existence for almost as long as homosexuals have been, I feel your opinions are not being respected enough by other members of the WFH during your daily knees up.

Here are a few areas I think you could improve on, that may help your standing in the federation. The list is by no mean exhaustive, but we have to start  somewhere:

1) Gays don’t always want your ass

You have this irrational fear that all gay men want is your ass. It is not true – we want your dick too. Read More »

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Hell or High Water – A Short Film

A few days ago, a friend sent me a YouTube link to this Nigerian gay-themed short film titled, Hell or High water  presented by The Initiative for Equal Rights (TIERs), a Nigeria based NGO.

Though the film is only 30 minutes long and void of the usual Nigerian gay stereotype characterisation, it is quite incisive, emotional and audacious in addressing a topic considered very taboo in Nigeria. It was also brave of the Nigerian actors who did a stellar job in delivering the various emotions in the film, knowing only too well the assumptions most viewers would make regarding their sexuality and the impact it may have on their respective careers.

It is a long road to stamping out legalised homophobia in Nigeria. But like TIERs, I hope this short film kick starts the journey by instigating intelligent conversation (albeit initially laden with vitriolic homophobia) about recognising and accepting homosexuality across in Nigeria.

Please enjoy and catch the moment the Pastor’s wife alludes to wanting to get fellated.

Crap I Get On Grindr XI


Not really sure what to say here. Would I be called a racist if I say “no” to his “Asian” question? 

I don’t agree with the term “Sexual racism” (please click here for my thoughts), but let’s say I did for a minute, shouldn’t  questions like “Are you into Asians?” be abhorrent to those who say “No Asians” on profiles is offensive? Especially coming from an Asian. 

On one hand, the PC brigade say don’t mention race exclusions on your profile, that it is demoralising for the excluded race, but do not say that people of the excluded race, should not use their race to try and get laid.

And please don’t get me started on his fetishising.

BBC experienced“. Really?!? 😳 

🚶🏿🚶🏿

How Keredim Got His Groove Back…..Almost

It’s January and I found myself in Montego Bay Jamaica, hundreds of kilometres away from the cold UK weather, primarily to get some sunshine and possibly sample some authentic Jamaican homegrown wholesome non-genetically modified rump. And maybe some authentic Jamaican cuisine along the way.

jam_man3

During the short 10 minute taxi ride to the hotel resort where I was staying (and throughout the holiday), being a Nigerian I could not help but notice some similarities, between my people and black Jamaicans – physically and in some mannerisms. This is not so surprising considering what went on during the era of slave trade, where my people were forcibly taken from the west code and landed all over the Caribbean.  So effectively we are very distant cousins.

jam_man-2

 

First thing that struck me was the driving.Read More »

Conversation With The Barber III

Previous hair cuts – Conversation I & Conversation II

Tired of looking like I was auditioning for the title role in the sequel of Django and also tired of my mother thinking I was heading to Turkey to cross the border into Syria, the other week, I decided to have a long overdue haircut and a beard trim.

The following conversation took place with my barber, Emenike. As usual it was in Igbo language.Read More »

Brexit: The result

Brexit

Woke up this morning.

Saw the news on TV

I am speechless.

What the Fuck just happened!?!

Britain Voted to leave the EU??!!

Cameron resigns?!?!

I am in shock. Feels like I have been hit by a truck.

I am incontinent incandescent with rage.

”Why Lord, Why hast thou forsaken me? Why have You reduced the chances of finding a white round bubble butt in Britain?” (Click here)

 Shit.  I really don’t need this right now!!!

Oh well…. Time to brush up on my Spanish…..

How do say “Have you got a bubble butt?” in Spanish….