Movie Review: God’s Own Country

God's Own Country

The last gay themed movie I saw without muscular guys dancing with their tops off in a night club and then copping off home with one or more guys to have wild drug induced sex all weekend, was Moonlight.

Unlike most gay films, God’s Own Country is not set in the concrete jungle of a big city, but rather it is set against a lush rural backdrop. You can almost breathe the fresh air as the camera pans over rich expanse of rambling fields of green grass in the foggy and wet English countryside. What’s more the film reminds us of how gays used to hook up back in the day sans mobile broadband network or Wifi.

Without giving much away, the film is about a gay farmer (Johnny) in the Yorkshire Pennines who manages to have hard, no strings attached sex with other guys without using modern technology (Read Grindr, Scruff, Instagram, Facebook, etc).

Then a Romanian worker (Gheorghe) who insists he’s not a Roma gypsy (which is a damn shame, because I have seen male Roma Gypsies around London they have bubble butts for days), arrives on the farm and an initial personality clash, they have aggressive sex halfway through a meal of hot Pot noodles. And just like that we get Brokeback Mountain on the Yorkshire dales.

Who knew Pot noodles was such a potent aphrodisiac?

 Romance blossoms between Johnny and Gheorghe as the latter teaches Johnny how to make love and not just have aggressive sex. A bit like how Khalessi tamed Aquaman Khal Drogo and taught him how to have sex in other positions, other than doggy style in Game of Thrones.

What happens when Johnny’s family find out? Does it end well? Is there a happy ending? As a film maker myself – I make home made porn – I understand only too well the displeasure of having the ending of my movie revealed to a non-paying audience, therefore I won’t reveal how the movie ends.

All I can say is that despite the story being told in an aggressive macho background with gratuitous showing of Organic British livestock- and I just don’t mean the grass fed cattle and sheep on the farm; there is a tender tale of love that is soul-stirring and the saliva lubricant sex scene could almost be forgiven.

Assuming my movie ratings counted for anything; I’d give the movie 4 out of 5 stars. Go see it if you can.

Meanwhile I am off to stock up on pot noodles 🏃🏿🏃🏿

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My Blatino Oasis 2017 (NSFW)

I finally got my ass over to Palm Springs, California for the Blatino oasis gay event

late last month. Something I had been thinking of doing for the last 6 years but couldn’t, due to (in no particular order) work commitments, personal finances, weddings and a morbid fear of being used for target practice by a jacked up US law enforcement officer.

But I overcame all these obstacles and found myself in the sweltering Palm Springs desert heat of 36 degrees centigrade and looking forward to the entertainment,  lined up for the year’s Blatino gathering.

Here is a blurb from the website www.blatinooasis.com

Blatino Oasis is a retreat (not a pride event), started in 2007, and held annually in Palm Springs, California. The next event will be held April 27-April 30, 2017. The retreat offers a variety of activities geared towards gay and bisexual men of color and our friends & lovers, to help us to party, relax and enjoy ourselves, in the beautiful, very gay friendly and legendary Hollywood vacation resort getaway to the stars, Palm Springs, California.”

Passes for the activities are released 12 months in advance and the early bird passes sell out really quickly, so I purchased mine not too long after they were released last year.

Blatino - 23 of 23

As is the norm for such events organised in the US, there is a host hotel, where most of the activities are held.Read More »

Sex In Dubai

I recently had a five day break in Dubai, the city in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) known for its iconic skyscrapers and high-rise buildings, in particular the world’s tallest building, the Burj Khalifa and the luxury hotel built to mimic a ship sail, the Burj Al Arab.

Burj Al Arab Outside

I was really looking forward to the trip, not just for some beach and sunshine, but I was also excited about exploring its “underground” gay scene, powered mostly as in the rest of world, by Grindr and Scuff. 🙂 Read More »

Crap I Get On Grindr XI


Not really sure what to say here. Would I be called a racist if I say “no” to his “Asian” question? 

I don’t agree with the term “Sexual racism” (please click here for my thoughts), but let’s say I did for a minute, shouldn’t  questions like “Are you into Asians?” be abhorrent to those who say “No Asians” on profiles is offensive? Especially coming from an Asian. 

On one hand, the PC brigade say don’t mention race exclusions on your profile, that it is demoralising for the excluded race, but do not say that people of the excluded race, should not use their race to try and get laid.

And please don’t get me started on his fetishising.

BBC experienced“. Really?!? 😳 

🚶🏿🚶🏿

How Keredim Got His Groove Back…..Almost

It’s January and I found myself in Montego Bay Jamaica, hundreds of kilometres away from the cold UK weather, primarily to get some sunshine and possibly sample some authentic Jamaican homegrown wholesome non-genetically modified rump. And maybe some authentic Jamaican cuisine along the way.

jam_man3

During the short 10 minute taxi ride to the hotel resort where I was staying (and throughout the holiday), being a Nigerian I could not help but notice some similarities, between my people and black Jamaicans – physically and in some mannerisms. This is not so surprising considering what went on during the era of slave trade, where my people were forcibly taken from the west code and landed all over the Caribbean.  So effectively we are very distant cousins.

jam_man-2

 

First thing that struck me was the driving.Read More »

Sex In Torremolinos

It was the week before the unfortunate Brexit vote. I thought I’d visit mainland Europe, just in case the UK did the stupid thing and shot themselves in the foot. Alas they did. (Shit! I need to get to Mexico before November 28th).

So I took a five-day break in Torremolinos in Andalucía, Spain. I had visited the region around the same time last year, but stayed about a 15 minute drive away in Malaga. Much of the five days were spent at Eden Club, which was on the gay part of the beach. Depending on the day of the week, it teemed with lots of good looking guys and to balance things out some not so good looking ones.

Weekends were usually busier than weekdays. It was on the Saturday during my stay, that I noticed three friends, lounging under a beach umbrella, a few spots from mine.Read More »

Crap I Get On Grindr X – A Greek Tragedy

My last entry “Crap I Get On Grindr IX” (click here) took place last week,while on a short break on the Greek Island of  Mykonos, where someone (let’s name him Stalker)  tracked me down to my Hotel.

The way I figure it, Stalker liked my profile on Grindr and messaged me a few times. When I did not respond to any of his messages, he saw that I was within reasonable range of his location, came to my hotel and sent  a message to say he was out front.

The thing is finding me was by no means a Herculean task (or as intriguing as say Huck using high tech equipment to track down his torture victim in Scandal). No, it was quite simple – I was the only black guy at the time, staying in the main (if not only) gay hotel on the Island.Read More »