It Takes A Village…..

“It takes a village to raise a child”

Villlage children

I love this African saying and its practice in the community has huge benefits to a child’s formative years and indeed all the way into adulthood. But like everything in life there are disadvantages.

Everyone in the community contributes in whatever way they can to the child’s upbringing, from looking after the child for a few hours while the parents are away; Collective admonishment when the child misbehaves, then pleading for the child when punishment (flogging) is about to be meted out by its parent; To giving advice on and approving choice of schools and career path and so on.

However there is payback. Read More »

My Blatino Oasis 2017 (NSFW)

I finally got my ass over to Palm Springs, California for the Blatino oasis gay event

late last month. Something I had been thinking of doing for the last 6 years but couldn’t, due to (in no particular order) work commitments, personal finances, weddings and a morbid fear of being used for target practice by a jacked up US law enforcement officer.

But I overcame all these obstacles and found myself in the sweltering Palm Springs desert heat of 36 degrees centigrade and looking forward to the entertainment,  lined up for the year’s Blatino gathering.

Here is a blurb from the website www.blatinooasis.com

Blatino Oasis is a retreat (not a pride event), started in 2007, and held annually in Palm Springs, California. The next event will be held April 27-April 30, 2017. The retreat offers a variety of activities geared towards gay and bisexual men of color and our friends & lovers, to help us to party, relax and enjoy ourselves, in the beautiful, very gay friendly and legendary Hollywood vacation resort getaway to the stars, Palm Springs, California.”

Passes for the activities are released 12 months in advance and the early bird passes sell out really quickly, so I purchased mine not too long after they were released last year.

Blatino - 23 of 23

As is the norm for such events organised in the US, there is a host hotel, where most of the activities are held.Read More »

Sex In Dubai

I recently had a five day break in Dubai, the city in the United Arab Emirates (UAE) known for its iconic skyscrapers and high-rise buildings, in particular the world’s tallest building, the Burj Khalifa and the luxury hotel built to mimic a ship sail, the Burj Al Arab.

Burj Al Arab Outside

I was really looking forward to the trip, not just for some beach and sunshine, but I was also excited about exploring its “underground” gay scene, powered mostly as in the rest of world, by Grindr and Scuff. 🙂 Read More »

Crap I Get On Grindr XI


Not really sure what to say here. Would I be called a racist if I say “no” to his “Asian” question? 

I don’t agree with the term “Sexual racism” (please click here for my thoughts), but let’s say I did for a minute, shouldn’t  questions like “Are you into Asians?” be abhorrent to those who say “No Asians” on profiles is offensive? Especially coming from an Asian. 

On one hand, the PC brigade say don’t mention race exclusions on your profile, that it is demoralising for the excluded race, but do not say that people of the excluded race, should not use their race to try and get laid.

And please don’t get me started on his fetishising.

BBC experienced“. Really?!? 😳 

🚶🏿🚶🏿

How Keredim Got His Groove Back…..Almost

It’s January and I found myself in Montego Bay Jamaica, hundreds of kilometres away from the cold UK weather, primarily to get some sunshine and possibly sample some authentic Jamaican homegrown wholesome non-genetically modified rump. And maybe some authentic Jamaican cuisine along the way.

jam_man3

During the short 10 minute taxi ride to the hotel resort where I was staying (and throughout the holiday), being a Nigerian I could not help but notice some similarities, between my people and black Jamaicans – physically and in some mannerisms. This is not so surprising considering what went on during the era of slave trade, where my people were forcibly taken from the west code and landed all over the Caribbean.  So effectively we are very distant cousins.

jam_man-2

 

First thing that struck me was the driving.Read More »

On Moonlight and Reading Critical Reviews #BlackOutUKfundamentalreadings

“Dealing with a crack addicted mother and the broader community context is not really comparable to mephedrone fuelled sex parties…”

We’re counting down the days until the screening of Moonlight at the Ritzy on Thursday 9th February at 9pm and the Moonlight Celebration Event on the 12 February at 7.30pm at the Upstairs at Ritzy.  We hope to see you at both these BlackOut Launch events!

I’ve been lucky to attend a screening of the Moonlight in an intimate space; a small wooden panelled theatre in a private member’s club. Check me out! Along with the brilliance of the film and the opulence of the location; something else struck me which I had to convey to the organiser in an email in response to her request that I share my thoughts about the film. I’ll call her Becky to protect her identity. She was friendly, young, blond and enthusiastic about promoting the film! Still I thought it was important to register with Becky a level of disappointment with the completely white…

View original post 805 more words

The Prayer II – Finding Jesus

img_4987

So it’s Christmas day and I see a missed call from my aunt. (The same one who prayed for a wife for me in the Prayer click here). I had sent her some cash for Christmas, earlier in the month and half expected her to call me to acknowledge receipt.

In fairness I did try to answer the phone, but it only rang twice and stopped before I could pick up. This is not unusual among my people and is called flashing. This is a  type of call collect where the calling party  (e.g someone from my village without enough phone credit as is always the case) makes a call at the called party’s (someone living abroad or deemed to always have enough phone credit) expense.

And woe betide you if you don’t return the call within five minutes, especially if the call is from an elderly relative. You and anyone else who has ears to hear will Read More »