It Takes A Village…..

“It takes a village to raise a child”

Villlage children

I love this African saying and its practice in the community has huge benefits to a child’s formative years and indeed all the way into adulthood. But like everything in life there are disadvantages.

Everyone in the community contributes in whatever way they can to the child’s upbringing, from looking after the child for a few hours while the parents are away; Collective admonishment when the child misbehaves, then pleading for the child when punishment (flogging) is about to be meted out by its parent; To giving advice on and approving choice of schools and career path and so on.

However there is payback. Read More »

Gym Vibing

Starbucks baristas are notorious for misspelling my name when taking my order and writing it on the paper cup. It comes out meaning nothing to me, but clearly meaning something to the barista taking the order in whatever language they speak. How many ways can you spell “Keredim”? Ask a Starbucks Barista.

I have a friend who has the same name as I do and we got into a competition to see whose local Starbucks will come up with the weirdest spelling of our name.

I lost the contest. However in my competitiveness, I had more than a few sugary Starbucks drinks and pastries; add to that a recent 10 day trip to Nigeria where all I did was eat freshly cooked meals, I gained more than a few pounds and my hips stopped lying in my trousers.

Big butt

So I have adopted a new workout regime and eating plan. One of those 12 week body transformation programs which I have modified to suit my lifestyle. The modification means it will take anything from between 12 months and 12 years to look anything like the “after” photo shopped models used to advertise the programs on Instagram.

As prescribed by the program I rest between sets during an exercise. During this time, I keep myself amused by looking around the gym and making up stories about other gym members.Read More »

Crap I Get On Grindr II

So there I was, (on a slow day at work) minding my own business trolling on FB – (Zuckerberg when will you roll out that poor substitute for a dislike button you call “Reaction buttons” into the UK?), when some guy liked a comment I made. He immediately sent me a friend request and in the spirit of ”Facebook friendship” and sheer boredom, I accepted his request.

To my utter surprise he immediately started a conversation on FB messenger (I suppose work was slow for him as well), but I didn’t respond immediately.  I checked his profile and saw he was friends with a good Jamaican friend of mine (yes I do have some bad Jamaican friends), named Peter. I asked Peter who the chap was and his response was far from complimentary.

Peter used choice words like “White dude who loves black dick”,”Patronising”, “Smarmy” , ”Ass-wipe” and finished off with “Bumbaclart”.

Like I said, It was slow at work and I had a few hours to kill before closing, so I decided to verify Peter’s colourful description of this guy and responded to the guy’s message and this is what transpired:

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Peter was on point with this guy’s description and then some. I really don’t care that he is a white, middle aged, rotund guy with bad teeth and flaky skin, fixated on Big Black Cock (BBC). In the pursuit of BBC he would sleep with any shape and manner of black guys and in most cases lose all manner of propriety and self-respect, like a crack addict after his fix. In other words  Any Black Will Do (ABWD).

From time to time, I come across white guys like him. They are prone to making racially offensive remarks, which are sadly overlooked by black guys in search of some form of socio-economic advancement. The thing is once people like this chap get away with this kind of behaviour and they think all other black guys are after the same thing and treat them with the same impudence.

I don’t think I have heard of how you gain working – let alone expert – knowledge of  the cultural behaviour of people from a certain country ,by getting on your knees and sucking them off. (Not even on your back;side or on all fours). Sadly I couldn’t sustain my indignation (or vomit) long enough to engage with this troglodyte, to begin to fathom why is his small mind works the way it does.  Still  I engaged, long enough for him to show his disdain for very people he claimed to like, especially those that don’t succumb to his unctuous advances.

But what I really want to know is how does a Nigerian writes differently from a “Native Brit”? And who are “Native Brits”? Are they exemplified by the Queen, who is actually German or the Prince of Wales who is Greek? (There goes my Knighthood).

Maybe they are the Bangladeshi community who own and run London Borough of Tower hamlets; or the wealthy middle-easterners what own most of Mayfair? Certainly not the Nigerians who own property and run businesses in Thamesmead aka Little Lagos?  Perhaps they can be found out in the countryside where they are threatened with extinction by the imminent influx of Syrian war refugees.

Someone please point me in the right direction.

PS: I should really rename this “Crap I Get On Social Media” shouldn’t I?