Nigeria Recognises Same Sex Marriage

While planning a quick getaway Kasie Anyawu, realised his Nigerian passport was due to expire a few weeks after his wedding day and had to be renewed.

Weeks later after the wedding, he set about completing the online application form for his passport renewal. Not quite used to being married, when it came to answering the Marital status question he chose “Single” from the list of available options. It still felt dreamlike. He still had to pinch himself sometimes and fiddle with the simple gold wedding band on his finger, to remind himself he was married.

He selected “Married”.

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Then came the next two questions – “Name of kin” and “Relationship to next of kin”. When he was single, it had always put his sister down as his next of kin and stated their relationship, but with the change in Marital status a change of Next of kin designate might be required. He paused and thought for a second. Whom should he designate as his next of kin? His sister or his new husband?Read More »

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Press Statement

Some of you may have noticed the lack of updates on the blog since the beginning of the year. I have had to take some time off blogging due to a couple of  life changing events recently, which have caused me to pause and do some deep soul-searching.

As part of the introspection, I had to review past blog entries and I realised that though I enjoy sharing my experiences with the blog followers (all five of you), the entries came from a place of deep pain, caused by a myriad of unresolved issues.  

To paraphrase my therapist, I have so much anger in me, that I need an outlet for my frustration and I unconsciously use the blog to vent. Without the blog as a channel of release I may have let off the pent up anger through other channels, which may not be socially or legally acceptable.

In the process of this catharsis, I may or may not have been (I am leaning towards the latter) exclusionary in my writing and may have offended some moral sensibilities and possibly infringed a human right or two.

For example, my contempt for flat arses, aversion to unprepared bottoms, scepticism of the use of PrEP within certain demographics and my predilection for muscular and masculine men, to the exclusion of other body types and deportments when it comes to sex, are common features throughout the blog.

In this non-binary, cis averse, pansexual, self labelling, gender bending, liberal left centrist, politically hypersensitive, woke world that we live in, this sort of narrative has no place on a LGBTQIA+∞ themed blog. Also, with the internet’s capacity to keep receipts ad infinitum, it wouldn’t be a good look for me if in future I launched an Onlyfans page or was plucked from relative obscurity and cast as the lead in an all-inclusive LGBTQIA+∞ stage production. (Guy’s gotta dream, right?)

So after posting a spate of shags in which flat arses were neglected, numerous private Grindr messages, conversations with my barber, a raft of on Social media suspensions and introspection facilitated by circa one hundred hours of therapy, it is with deep regret and sadness, but with gratitude to God for a blog life well spent that I, Kasiemobi Erectus Ricardo Elemuwa Dike Isiaku Mojéishu, on this day Monday 1stApril 2019, have decided to make this post my last blog entry.

I have also chosen this day and platform to announce my bid for President of the United States of America in the 2020 presidential elections. I believe for America to be truly great again, her Presidency needs to be outsourced….away from Russia.

 

Thank you.

🚶🏾‍♂️🚶🏾‍♂️🚶🏾‍♂️🚶🏾‍♂️🚶🏾‍♂️

Dear Nigerian Homophobe II

Hello fiends,

I throway salute o!!

It’s been a minute.

In my previous  letter I said I’d try and help you look less asinine in the World Forum of Homophobes (Click here to recap). Not an easy task and I am under no illusion that it will happen in my life time. But as the saying goes “The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step”.

This one is directed at the Bible thumping ones among you.

In Chike Frankie Edozien’s brilliant memoir “Lives of Great Men” (or as I like to call it, “Naija Homophobes fear God – Stay in your lane or be run over), he said “……In recent times many Nigerians have embraced a rabid religiosity that veers towards conservative and literal interpretations of religious texts…..”Read More »

It Takes A Village…..

“It takes a village to raise a child”

Villlage children

I love this African saying and its practice in the community has huge benefits to a child’s formative years and indeed all the way into adulthood. But like everything in life there are disadvantages.

Everyone in the community contributes in whatever way they can to the child’s upbringing, from looking after the child for a few hours while the parents are away; Collective admonishment when the child misbehaves, then pleading for the child when punishment (flogging) is about to be meted out by its parent; To giving advice on and approving choice of schools and career path and so on.

However there is payback. Read More »

Hell or High Water – A Short Film

A few days ago, a friend sent me a YouTube link to this Nigerian gay-themed short film titled, Hell or High water  presented by The Initiative for Equal Rights (TIERs), a Nigeria based NGO.

Though the film is only 30 minutes long and void of the usual Nigerian gay stereotype characterisation, it is quite incisive, emotional and audacious in addressing a topic considered very taboo in Nigeria. It was also brave of the Nigerian actors who did a stellar job in delivering the various emotions in the film, knowing only too well the assumptions most viewers would make regarding their sexuality and the impact it may have on their respective careers.

It is a long road to stamping out legalised homophobia in Nigeria. But like TIERs, I hope this short film kick starts the journey by instigating intelligent conversation (albeit initially laden with vitriolic homophobia) about recognising and accepting homosexuality across in Nigeria.

Please enjoy and catch the moment the Pastor’s wife alludes to wanting to get fellated.

Conversation With The Barber II

The last time I mentioned my barber was in January, it is now August. That doesn’t mean that I have been running around looking like I am auditioning for a part in a Blaxploitation movie. Quite the opposite. I have been to see him and been having my hair cut, just that we haven’t had any gay related conversations, until yesterday when I paid him a visit him.

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The following ensued and like the last time, which you can catch up on here the conversation was in Igbo.

Me: How now? How is the family? (He is married with two daughters)

Emenike (Em): I am fine my brother. We thank God. How is work?

Me: Its going well, thank you. I have a big presentation on Monday; please give me a nice haircut – I need to show them that I haven’t come to sell groundnuts.

Em: Don’t worry I will take care of you, he laughed

He prepared me for the haircut and as he draped the barber’s cloth over me, he stopped mid-flight as a rather voluptuous lady walked by the shop window and attracted his attention. The other barbers and customers in the shop teased him about being happily married man and shouldn’t be gawking at other women.

Me: How is that your townsman you were telling me about?Read More »