Dear Nigerian Homophobe II

Hello fiends,

I throway salute o!!

It’s been a minute.

In my previous  letter I said I’d try and help you look less asinine in the World Forum of Homophobes (Click here to recap). Not an easy task and I am under no illusion that it will happen in my life time. But as the saying goes “The journey of a thousand miles starts with a single step”.

This one is directed at the Bible thumping ones among you.

In Chike Frankie Edozien’s brilliant memoir “Lives of Great Men” (or as I like to call it, “Naija Homophobes fear God – Stay in your lane or be run over), he said “……In recent times many Nigerians have embraced a rabid religiosity that veers towards conservative and literal interpretations of religious texts…..”

With that in mind, while in Church the other day – I know you’re probably thinking “A Church where gay people are not struck down by lightning as they walk in, cannot be a real Church” – and as I listened to the young, handsome, tall, gym fit Vicar with sun-kissed skin on account of a recent holiday in the sun and wondering if he had a tanned bikini line, talking about what Christmas really means I picked up a Bible and read your favourite verse you use to justify homophobia – Leviticus 18:22.

If you take the literal meaning of that verse which reads “Men don’t have intercourse with other men” it means just that. Which would probably help explain why you give Lesbians a free pass and in some cases watch or beg to join in. However, to bring literal context to the verse, I read the entire chapter.

In a nutshell, Leviticus 18 is essentially a list of different types of sexual relationships God doesn’t want us engaging in. It makes for interesting reading and it also goes to show that people in those days got up to some really kinky shit. Even today Pornhub would struggle to put them into categories on their website.

Anyway the part of the chapter that caught my attention was Leviticus 18:1-5 –

“The Lord said to Moses, ² “Speak to the Israelites and say to them: ‘I am the Lord your God. ³ You must not do as they do in Egypt, where you used to live, and you must not do as they do in the land of Canaan, where I am bringing you. Do not follow their practices. ⁴ You must obey my laws and be careful to follow my decrees. I am the Lord your God.⁵ Keep my decrees and laws, for the person who obeys them will live by them. I am the Lord.”

My dear Nigerian homophobes, if you take verse 22 literally, you must take verse 2 the same way  – God was addressing the Israelites and not NIGERIANS.

So the rest of that chapter and arguably the rest of the old testament, does not apply to us Nigerians.

This is probably another reason why you and your Pastors have been unsuccessful in using  Leviticus 18 in trying to eradicate consensual same sex activity in Nigeria. I mean you can’t use Imodium to treat malaria. It won’t work!!

Even the Israelites that Lev 18:22  was meant for have moved on. In 1988 the ban on consensual same-sex sexual acts was repealed formally by the Israeli Knesset – which is like our  National House of  Assembly only the members are altruistic and definitely more civilised.

And if you really feel it necessary to reinforce the ethereal statutes of Lev 18:22, the same way you tell the English how to run their own Church of England during the Anglican Synod, when next you go to Israel on your holy pilgrimage, remind the Israelis – who have lifted the ban on gay soldiers serving in the military forces; legalised same sex marriage and are now in the process of allowing gay couples adopt children – of what God directly said to them.

Till next time.

Merry Christmas