Not really sure what to say here. Would I be called a racist if I say “no” to his “Asian” question?
I don’t agree with the term “Sexual racism” (please click here for my thoughts), but let’s say I did for a minute, shouldn’t questions like “Are you into Asians?” be abhorrent to those who say “No Asians” on profiles is offensive? Especially coming from an Asian.
On one hand, the PC brigade say don’t mention race exclusions on your profile, that it is demoralising for the excluded race, but do not say that people of the excluded race, should not use their race to try and get laid.
And please don’t get me started on his fetishising.
It’s January and I found myself in Montego Bay Jamaica, hundreds of kilometres away from the cold UK weather, primarily to get some sunshine and possibly sample some authentic Jamaican homegrown wholesome non-genetically modified rump. And maybe some authentic Jamaican cuisine along the way.
During the short 10 minute taxi ride to the hotel resort where I was staying (and throughout the holiday), being a Nigerian I could not help but notice some similarities, between my people and black Jamaicans – physically and in some mannerisms. This is not so surprising considering what went on during the era of slave trade, where my people were forcibly taken from the west code and landed all over the Caribbean. So effectively we are very distant cousins.
A few months ago, I blogged here that I couldn’t wait for the new dislike button on Facebook, so that I can start disliking comments and pictures thus effectively becoming a Facebook troll . Well that dream is out the proverbial window now that Facebook have decided against the button.
Secretly I am glad they reached that decision because a Facebook troll who goes around clicking away disliking posts on Facebook, is one step away from being an Internet troll who actually goes around and takes the time writing negative comments on every post the come across.
I belong to a Nigerian LGBT online forum (blog) kitodiaries. Its main intention is to act as a forum where Nigerian LGBT persons can speak out against the hostile legalized homophobic environment they live in. A forum where homophobic attacks can be reported, attackers identified and other gay people warned about the attackers. More importantly, it lets other LGBT people in Nigeria know that they are not alone. In other words an online sanctuary of sorts. Read More »
Last September I was on holiday in Los Angeles and as usual whenever I visit a new city, I went sight seeing during the day and cruised the local talent at night. I logged onto the gay hook up apps and websites to check out the local talent. Being LA – Land of Hollywood where a large number of the residents are fit aspiring screen actors/models waiting for their big break and also staying in the predominantly gay West Hollywood, I had high expectations.
Yes the guys were hot, however on most of the profiles that I found interesting, I noticed that most of the guys were on Pre-Exposure Prophylaxis (PrEP). The guys I sent messages to, though according to their profiles were HIV negative, said they wouldn’t mind having bareback sex because they were on PrEP. I did some digging around on the internet to understand PrEP, and I found quite a bit of information and research based data on it.
“PrEP is the use of anti-HIV medication that keeps HIV negative people from becoming infected. PrEP is approved by the FDA and has been shown to be safe and effective. A single pill taken once daily, it is highly effective against HIV when taken every day. The medication interferes with HIV’s ability to copy itself in your body after you’ve been exposed. This prevents it from establishing an infection and making you sick.”– Source – http://www.whatisprep.org
I knew then it would be a matter of months before PrEP hits the UK and now it is being trialled.
No HIV prevention technique is 100% effective, but I think some are more effective than others. Clinical studies carried out show that HIV virus did not infect 86% of the men on PrEP when there were exposed to the virus. (For condoms, its 97% (assuming the condoms are used correctly – 100%), plus condoms protect against other STDs.)Read More »
I like good personal hygiene. I like my hookups showered and prepared before we meet up. I expressed my sentiments about douchingherein a previous post.
Unfortunately not all bottom guys I hookup with share the same sentiments and this continues to baffle me. Consequently, during chats on whatever hookup site or app I am on and the hookup looks certain, I always ask if the guy has douched. Initially, I used to think it was improper to ask, but after more than a few unpleasant surprises, I have thrown all propriety out the window and I now routinely ask.
It seems however that I might have an answer to my bafflement.
Let me set the scene: This guy from Spain contacted me on Grindr in March, saying he would be in London in June for business. We exchanged pictures and agreed we would be a good fit in bed. We exchanged numbers and our conversation moved to Whatsapp. He arrives in London and we arrange a provisional time to meet and seal the deal. Below is the interesting part of the conversation. Please note English is not his first language, but he clearly communicated his thoughts about douching.
I was stunned. This guy was saying he couldn’t go home to douche and that it didn’t really matter, because I was going to use condoms anyway. So would he have offered to go home and douche if we were going to fuck bareback? Or maybe he would have suggested I just wash my dick of it turned out he was messy? Unbelievable!!!
For me a clean bottom is not negotiable. I do appreciate accidents do happen and the best preparations don’t exactly workout; but at least be seen to give a shit and make an effort and douche. But not this guy. So I feigned an emergency and cancelled the hookup. His wasn’t the only arse on business in London.
It got me thinking though, is the use of condoms one of the reasons some bottom guys don’t douche?
A friend of mine commented that all I tend to share are shag stories about me being the top and never the bottom. A fair comment which I have sought to address a few times. Like most tops out there, I am versatile when I am in a relationship. (Yes I have been in relationships!!). It is during these relationships that I have learned not only how to bottom but also how to give bottoms pleasure and by so doing be a good top.
Sadly, my ass is high maintenance and accustomed to certain ways. It is not built for quick online hook ups. To get into the mood, it requires cajoling by way of extended periods of pleasurable rimming and finger action to ease open the gates and pave the way bigger things. (A bit like John The Baptist paving the way for Jesus Christ). And when the bigger thing comes, entry has to be slow and every inch considered. Once the entry is complete and the tool fully accommodated then play can begin. Read More »
I got an e-mail from Adam4adam –the gay hook up website- regarding my profile. It would appear I haven’t logged on for 90 days and as a result my profile may be deleted. The e-mail then went on to advertise them as the “Number 1 gay dating website” and that they won some award in […]
Catfish. A guy Nev, starts an online relationship with an attractive lady called Megan on Facebook. Feelings begin to develop between Nev and Megan. As a token of affection Megan sends Nev MP3 song covers, which Nev subsequently discovers are performances from YouTube. This is just one of the many distortions from Megan which Nev discovers that prompts him to seek her out. Nev travels to Michigan from New York to meet Megan and confront her on these irregularities. It turns out when Nev arrives at her front door she looks nothing like she does on her facebook page. Read More »