Chemsex · Drugs · Gay websites · Sex · Sobersex · Social Commentary

The Joys of Sober sex

Party and Play  (PnP) is a phenomenon of recreational drug users having sex with each other or a group. It can also be referred to as Chemsex.  In previous posts I have blamed Chemsex for inhibiting any decent online hook ups for me, as I have a zero – tolerance attitude to drugs.

A bit has been said recently in mainstream media about the increase of Chemsex within the London gay community. It has also been reported that there is a direct link to the increase of new HIV infections in the capital – 21% increase in 2013 over 2012 and this is a higher increase than the rest of the UK.

NHS sexual health clinics like 56 Dean street, run sexual well-being sessions to educate people on the disadvantages of chemsex and also provide help for people who want to get off the habit.

The Chemsex parties are usually organised via hook up sites but more so via mobile apps such as Grindr. It has been suggested that the sites and apps should do more to prevent this from happening and as such profiles are screened for specific words that promote Chemsex.  This only goes so far, as guys invent new slangs to describe the drugs and parties. And when it comes to the conversations are they really going to monitor what is being said?

I believe the websites and apps are only as good (or bad) as the people who use them. It is all out there for the taking but it is all about choice. As individuals, we can either choose to engage and have chemsex or simply ignore the message and block the offending profile.


The Choice is Yours....
What u gonna do…?


Personally, I haven’t had any successful hook up on Grindr since before last christmas. Instead I have been having conversations with guys to try and understand what pleasure they get from Chemsex. Most say, it makes sex more intense (This sounded like an ad tagline – “Tina. For that intense sexual feeling”). One guy said – to flatter me I suppose – to take BBC (Big black cock).

Another guy, after giving me mostly pros and fewer cons of chemsex, invited me to try it once to understand the euphoria people get from it and experience sex at a whole different level. He sounded like an evangelist making an alter call in a Pentecostal church on Sunday. I told him that I – and at least half a dozen others – was very happy with my current level of sexual euphoria.

One thing stood out to me – no one admitted to being hooked on chemsex. They are all recreational users because they only have chemsex at the weekends and are confident they can stop at anytime they want to. And they all feel they don’t do as much drugs as the next person.

Thankfully there are still some sane people in London who have not been swept up in the chemsex tidal wave and still enjoy sober sex. I attended a group sex party the other week with seven other guys. Hats off to the host for ensuring all participants were fit guys with the right mix of tops and bottoms in attendance.

It was a strictly safe sex affair with condoms and lube provided. There was something for everyone and the main thing fuelling the party was good plain old – fashioned horny lust. The strongest beverage that was served was green tea. There were no drugs in sight and none taken by anyone before the session either. That would have been quite easy to spot.

We did have some visual and audio aids. There was porn playing on the big 52” TV screen and the music playing in the background was a mixed version of Beyonce’s self titled album. Fucking to good rhythm is essential.

In no time at all we got down to business. Everyone knew their roles and improvised if they didn’t.

I got a horny blowjob while “Partition” was playing. The guy had good oratory skills. He started licking from the base of my dick and moved to the top. Then he engulfed the entire shaft in his mouth and made the back of his throat vibrate, thus sending vibrations along my shaft. (I must ask him how he did that). It took a lot not to “Monica Lewinski” on him – had to save myself for later. He soon moved on to someone else and so did I.

Just as “Blow” came on over the speakers, I zoomed in on a nice set of muscular glutes. The equally muscular owner was on all fours attending to someone else’s cock. By the first hook of the song, I think I solved his riddle as I ate his skittle. I must say I don’t like skittles, but I am beginning to acquire a taste for them. I seem to have found the sweetest one because in no time, he freed his mouth from the cock he was sucking and to my amusement was humming “turn that cherry out, turn that cherry out”.

Someone else slid under him and engaged his cock, so that they there were now in the 69 position. After a few more tongue flicks, I had to give my tongue a rest and left them to it.

I sat back and surveyed the huge room and everyone was in one position or the other. I could see a couple of free butts. I approached one of them and probed it with my finger to gauge its acceptance. He pushed back on my finger and that was an invitation to treat. I slapped on a condom and lubed it up and what starts playing on the speakers but “Drunk in Love”. Thankfully it wasn’t the version featuring Kanye West. That version is so nasty and unnecessary. What can I say? Soon the guy was “swerving on that big body” and I was slamming in him real good.

Swerving all that good body.....
Swerving all that big body…..


The fun and games lasted a few more hours before we all left very satisfied, accountable for (and remembering) our actions and with our liver function still intact. No hypersomnia from using Crystal, MDMA or GHB either.

Ah, the  Joys of Sober sex. Bring it on!!!!




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