Crap I Get On Grindr X – Job Hunter

Multifunctional

I have come across some profiles in recent times, that you would be forgiven for thinking that Grindr was a job app like LinkedIn rather than a hook up app.

And the way I flip between apps on my iPad and being a certified simpleton, one of these days I think I just might respond to a message in LinkedIn with one intended for Grindr.

I struggle to see how being a graduate would help one’s quest for a shag on Grindr.

It is as if by declaring “I went to college”, I would say “Brilliant, bring your skinny arse over and let me ravage it”

The other day, one guy sent me a message accompanied with dick and butt pics. When I checked his profile he proudly proclaimed that he had a PhD and was looking for a serious relationship.

Last weekend a “High flying lawyer” in central London sent me pictures of his chiselled body but flat behind, offering to split the Uber fare if I came over to his place. Cheapstake. How did I know he is a “High flying lawyer“? Yes, that’s correct. It’s on his profile.

It got me thinking. If we all listed our academic and career achievements on Grindr, mine might read something like:

“City Analyst/Full time bitch/ Part time hoe.  BSc (Unical), BEng(Unilag), Msc (Buckingham), ACA, FCA, MBA(Imperial), PhD (Harvard), CPA, LLB, LLM, CITP, AGILE, PRINCE2. Top, looking for NSA, drug free safe sex with bottoms. PLEASE be Athletic/Muscular with a clean butt.” 

Then maybe a gay MD of an FTSE 100 company would offer me a job post coitus.  I guess I wouldn’t have to worry if got the job due to affirmative action.  Assertive action definitely but not affirmative …but I digress….

Unfortunately, these accomplished erudite punters like the slim ones mentioned above, just don’t bother reading profiles or do, but lack basic English language comprehension, for why else would they reach out to me when our profiles don’t match?!!

When people complain that Grindr has killed romance in the gay community , I often reply that Grindr is exactly what we want it to be:-

It could be a quick hook up app; A source of amusement (both uses I subscribe to, though since Nov 20 2016 it’s been more of  the latter than the former) or; an app leading to a long term relationship culminating in a globally televised wedding, featuring a black preacher and gospel choir in a typical English Church, prompting inane comments from British television pundits about “never seeing so many black people at a wedding before”.

But job hunting certainly wasn’t one of the uses I had in mind for Grindr.

🚶🏿🚶🏿🚶🏿🚶🏿

Advertisements

7 thoughts on “Crap I Get On Grindr X – Job Hunter

  1. 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

    Let people shoot their shot and land their luck oh 👏 👏 👏 👏

  2. I guess it is out of place to hype yourself 100% on Grindr but I see no harm in indicating, you are in a particular field or belong to a certain group. It only makes for easier selection based on who may find you interesting.

    • Yes, there is no harm in telling a potential shag what you do for work, but it seems odd to use it to start a conversation on Grindr.

  3. He could’ve pulled it round if he’d had a witty comeback to your ‘Trying to understand…’ comment…

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

w

Connecting to %s