Comedy · Sex · Social Commentary

Grey’s Anatomy


I am not sure how this got into my head. It could have been some random urban myth I heard in school, but I grew up thinking that the parts of the body where we have an abundance of grey hair, are the parts of the body we use the most.

So growing up, whenever I saw an old person with grey hair, I would instantly think, about how intelligent they were, because they must use their brain a lot. I would wonder how many books they would have read  or how many degrees they had. What wonderful facts they would know from reading Encyclopaedia Britannica (This was before the creators of Google were sperm cells)

I am a lot older now (not sure about wiser) and I now know that having grey hair isn’t necessarily a good measure of intelligence. But sometimes I do fall back to that myth with amusement.

Sometimes I am reminded of my age, especially during sex. Three or four year ago, I was able to lift guys weighing up to 70kg and fuck them in the standing position unsupported, with their thighs circled around my waist for about 15 mins. Now I find I need to use the wall for support.

Another stark reminder of ageing, is when standing naked in front of the mirror especially after a workout and taking selfies (as we are all wont to do), I analyse the composition of hair on my moderately hairy body.

Little or no grey hair among my full head of black hair. Which means, according to the childhood myth, that I don’t use my brain enough. I am intellectually challenged.

I have a fair amount of facial hair as I have grown a beard in the last few months. I notice that on the right side of my chin I have more grey hair than on my left. Incidentally I do tend to chew food more on the right side of my mouth than on my left side. Could this be the reason? Or is my blow job technique more skewed to the right and not centred enough? (I have to keep an eye on that).

On my chest I have some grey hair sprinkled among the black ones, as if they are struggling to make their presence known. Is this because I am not empathic enough? I don’t feel enough? I have been called a cold hearted so and so, on more than a few occasions.

Which begs the question If I don’t think with my head and heart, what do I think with?

Then travel down to the pubic region and it looks like an aerial photograph taken at a Klu-Klux Klan convention…All white. It has done a lot of mileage!! Shit! I use my dick more than my brain. I am a man, I think with my dick (Such a cliché)

Maybe it is time to take a hard look at myself and re-order my priorities – “Read more; Fuck less.” In the meantime, grey pubes aren’t sexy. Can’t imagine anyone wanting to get acquainted with a hard long 9 incher resting on a bed of grey hair.

A friend suggested I dye my pubes and cheekily gave me a hair dyeing kit for my birthday. Arschgesicht.

I have ditched his suggestion and taken to having a self made full Brazilian wax, every other week. Not only do I like the feeling of fabric running over my smooth balls, the lack of hair down there gives the illusion that my dick is longer.

Speaking of Brazilian, I think I will have Joao Pedro come over tonight, get on his knees and give his opinion…..


27 thoughts on “Grey’s Anatomy

  1. ‘Or is my blow job technique more skewed to the right and not centred enough? (I have to keep an eye on that).’

    Hahahahahahahaa! Chai. Anwuom! Your childhood myth appears to have defined your current career as a high-end hoe very well. 😀

  2. Funny but interesting read up.

    It will do your readers like me a whole lot of good if you can do more write ups. Even if it is, one per week. I like how we get a glimpse into your life and the real you too…

  3. More grey among ur chest hair? All those hands rubbing it prolly grayed the black away. Aren’t u an international whore again? Pillow talk is unprofessional. Less pillow talk, less fucking and more reading.
    I associated grey hair with ‘ancient’. I took it personal when in JS1, I scraped off d white patches off one of my mate’s head…with a blade. How dare he have grey hair when he is just 11(+/-1) years old??? Safe to say I almost entered ‘quanta’ with his guardian.
    PS Waxing? Ouch!!!!

          1. Depth?! Hmmm, I thought we were discussing frontage waxing! It’s okay sha, backyard waxing too is allowed.

            1. @Francis. Uncle, you seem to know a lot about this waxing and grey business. Almost as much as the writer, if not more. Anything you’d like to share with the class?

                1. LMAO! I been think say you close shop, come sidon for sideline? How ur shop go de closed and u go still de follow complain about competition?

  4. This piece killed me!!! please write more 😂😂😂😁 …embrace your age joor, the older the grape the sweeter the wine.

    ION: The thought of fucking while standing unsupported/ against the wall though… 🙊🙊🙊🙊🙊*fans flushed face*

  5. Dear grey horse…Emmmm Sorry, I mean…Dear Keredim. Do us a favour and write more often biko. If you actually did more writing, you’d probably have proper grey distribution as opposed to irregularities in distribution that you are currently experiencing now. #JustAThought.
    Dropping a post after months of absence is not good for the general health state of some of us who love to live vicariously through *cough cough* I beg you nna, get urself some consistency juice dakun.

    The 70kg and 15 minutes part got me like “bish where?”. 70-85kg, I can lift, but to be humping at it for 5-10-15 minute!? Hell naw. Somebody better hand me a wall or furniture for support after 5 minute. No be civil service abeg.

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