New Year Message to My Grindr Stalker

Hi,

Thanks for your messages telling me how hot I look and how you like getting fucked by black muscular men.  Though from the pictures you sent me of yourself getting rogered in various positions, it looks like you enjoy being fucked by overweight black men.

Thanks for your message confirming you are a bottom. I assumed you read my profile and ascertained that I am a top. My profile also states I go for athletic/muscular types with bubble butts. Requirements you have chosen to ignore, because again from the pictures you sent you are not athletic or muscular and you have a flat pancake ass.

Thanks for the kind offer of chems, even though my profile says “No chems” another fact you chose to ignore.

Thanks for offering to organise a couple of other bottoms for me to fuck while you watch. Again the pictures of the bottoms you sent, show they also belong to the pancake club.

Thanks for all the other unsolicited messages too numerous to go into detail on here. But after over 200 messages sent over an eight-month period – none of which have I have responded to– at what point would it dawn on you that I am not interested in meeting up?

I know the saying (and song) goes, “If at first you don’t succeed, pick yourself up and try again” but I think there is a cap on the number of tries on the same profile before you move on to the next one. And two hundred is way over the limit.

Perhaps you think by bombarding me with messages you would beat me into submission. Or maybe you think you can catch me at my horniest and I would succumb and fuck anything? Possibly – but it will never come to that as long as I have my hands.

I know your profile says, “Block if not interested”. Some people don’t like blocking benign profiles and why should they carry the burden? Besides if I took the pre-emptive step of blocking all the profiles I don’t like before they even hit me up, I wouldn’t be able to send messages to the few that I do like. Not to mention the fact that Grindr has now placed a limit on the number of profiles you can block in a day unless you upgrade to Grindr extra.

 And who is to say you wouldn’t create another profile after I block the current one?

 In a bar would you go around saying to people you don’t like, “Don’t talk to me, you are not my type” before they say anything to you?

At the sauna, when you see someone you like it is not immediately clear whether you are their type or not until you make a move on them.  You might then end up feeling each other up and fucking or he might politely rebuff your advances.

Online all that uncertainty is cut out by the person stating their preference on their profile, so you know upfront whether to contact them or not.  And if you are still unsure and you go ahead and send a message and they ignore you, then its a pretty sure sign that they are just that into you. Especially after you send a message saying “message me back if you are interested” and they don’t respond after five months – it couldn’t be clearer.

Please don’t think that I am up my own ass or that I find you inferior. But being the recipient of over two hundred of your unsolicited messages, I feel somewhat entitled to dole out some advice, which is given in the nicest possible way.

As the New Year approaches, you might want to consider as one of your 2014 resolutions (which I hope also includes taking up some form of physical exercise) that you place a self regulatory limit on the number of follow up messages you send after the first message goes unanswered, to an individual profile. Try zero.

The benefits are two fold. Firstly, you gain some self-respect and secondly it will give you a chance to find another person who may be willing to give you a pity fuck!

Happy New Year!!