Warning: This blog post is not going to be popular!!
Sexual racism the phrase has been around for a while, (I am always late to join the party), but it seems to be making a resurgence, it might be the next “hot topic” or “cause”. It is the main feature of latest issue of the GMFA FS magazine http://www.gmfa.org.uk/londonservices/fsmagazine/index. There is also a website dedicated to sexual racism primarily against Asians http://www.sexualracismsux.com
Does sexual racism really exist or has someone coined a phrase to earn a PhD?
In the urban dictionary, Sexual racism is defined as “Sexual discrimination based on race in a personal ad (internet) specifically”. So a profile on a gay social networking websites with the words “No blacks”, “No Asians” or “No Whites” is deemed sexually racist and considered negative and hurtful to the excluded race.
Denying a group of people from public places because of the colour of their skin, as was the status quo in apartheid South Africa, that is racism.
Being passed over for promotion in the work place due to the colour of the skin – that is racism.
A black footballer pelted with bananas during a football match – that is racism. Serbian Football fans making monkey noises when a black football player is passed the football – that is racism. (UEFA giving Serbian football association a meager fine of £65,000 for allowing such monkey chants by the Serbia fans that is condoning racism)
The Dutch and Belgian Christmas tradition of Sinterklass & Zwarte Piet – that is racism (with a hint of paedophilia)
Communicating either by inclusion or exclusion, a desired race for a sexual encounter on a gay website, where over 80% of the profiles do not bear the real names of the said profile owner and sometimes not his real image, is stating a preference.
Appending the word “Sexual” to “racism” trivialises the hard struggle for racial equality.
Don’t get me wrong. The words ‘No black’, “No Asians” and ‘’No whites’ are wrong – when used in situations that infringes on basic human rights, like proper education, finding a job, finding a place to live, etc. But when used on a gay social networking site used predominantly for having sex, this hardly threatens the existence of the individual and I am sure the “offended” party can live without having sex for a while.
The aforementioned website prescribes ways in which such preferences can be stated in a less hurtful manner, thus rejection becoming less hurtful and traumatic. For example, rather then stating “No Whites” the profile can say, “ I am more comfortable with Black men”. Such phrasing is considered as less hurtful and would soften the blow of rejection.
Firstly on line, a person only gets rejected when they contact another person and he gets turned downed and not before. So in order not to suffer the excruciating pain of rejection online, do not send a message to someone who clearly does not like your ethnic group, or you will get rejected either by way of damning silence or a rude rebuttal.
Secondly, whether a person says ‘No whites’ or “I am more comfortable with black men” the impact is the same – Rejection. It will hit you sooner or later and trust me you will get over it!! It will not kill you and it will only make you stronger.
The profile writer knows what he likes in bed and in this example its not White or Asian people. The writer has his reasons, for not wanting to have sex with a certain race and I don’t think he should be classed as sexually racist. I don’t like chems, does that make me a sexual chem(ist)?? It is his loss for not being open minded or he may have had a bad experience with that ethnic group. So just suck it up and move on to the next profile.
I just think whichever way it is done, stating one’s preferences upfront saves time and future disappointment. You take what you want from it. For me, as I have ranted blogged before earlier in February, in the post “When does sexual fantasy become offensive?” http://wp.me/p25b9a-Y, if a profile explicitly declares a preference for a race other than their own, it may invariably lead to Sexual racial objectification in bed, which I find annoying. So I avoid such profiles. But that is just me.
If a profile uses derogatory terms to describe a race, e.g. using the N word, then I would say that is racism and its not sexual. But from my personal experience the proprietors of the website, may not even see it as that.
Last year I was in Berlin on a short weekend break. I was chatting with a Turkish guy on gayromeo and when he realized I wasn’t going to hook up with him, he became racially abusive towards me and used some racially derogatory words. I don’t know what annoyed me more, the fact that I was racially abused; or the fact that the abuse came for a Turkish immigrant in Germany telling me to ‘go back to Africa where I come from’.
I reported the incident through the proper gayromeo abuse reporting channels by sending them the history of the conversation. They came back saying that they did not see the comments as racists and that I should block the guy’s profile. No further action was taken. So there you have it, if they won’t take the use of racially offensive words seriously how much more “No blacks’ written on a profile?
Another thing I have noticed about “Sexual Racism” is that it tends to be commited by Caucasian males online. This suggests that Black or Asian males do not commit “Sexual racism”. Well this is hardly the case. I know a white guy who loves black men and he set up a profile on BGC – Black Gay Chat. Poor child, the sins of his ancestors, rightly or wrongly was visited upon him.Needless to say, he was taken to school and read within an inch of his life by members of BGC, he deleted his profile within a few hours. He complained to me and though I sympathized with him, I did point out that the clue was in the name of the website.
However a Caucasian profile expressing interest in another race other than the Caucasian race is not deemed as sexually racist towards other Caucasians. Maybe we should then coin a phrase for such people and set up a website applauding “Sexual positive affirmation action”?
I understand what the creators of the phrase “Sexual Racism” are trying to express and their intentions are noble. However, I don’t think “Sexual Racism” is the right term to use. The fact is there are thousands of profiles out there that exclude races the same way they exclude body types, fetishes and so on. It is not being sexually racist; it is just stating a preference.
I did say this blog post was not going to be popular