No More Blow Jobs

You are a gay male escort. As a starter to a good sex session, you give awesome head. You have phenomenal techniques for giving head – if you could, you would patent them.  These techniques keep particular clients coming back for more. This has afforded you a loyal client base, which includes city traders, bankers and lawyers. It also helps that you live close to the city; your clients can come (no pun intended) over during their lunch break or between meetings.

For them your attention to detail is a stress buster. One of them, an insurance broker, remarked that you should insure your mouth. You thought that was just pre ejaculation talk. But secretly, you feel you deserve a knighthood, because without your skills the banking crisis would have been a lot worse.

One of your techniques involves you giving head in “reps and sets”, similar to a workout. You imagine the dick divided into four parts, each part ending with an invisible line or “base”.  You make your mouth moist, either by salivating or sipping a drink. If you need to lubricate the dick, you dribble some saliva over tip. You do not spit on it – that is unhygienic and repulsive.

Starting from the top and covering your teeth with your lips (you don’t want to draw blood), you work your mouth slowly to the end of the first base and then slowly up again.

You do this a couple of times. Then down again past first base to second base and up again.  You repeat a couple of times. Then move to third base and up again. You repeat three times.  Then move to fourth base and up again. You repeat four times. At the end of the fourth rep, the tip of the dick is at the back of your throat.  You let it linger there for a few seconds. This is the end of the first set.

Do three sets. Usually by the end of the third set your client is calling for his mother. If not you do an additional set with an added level of difficulty – each time you come to the top of the dick, you flick the tip of your tongue over top of the dick. That does the trick.

You continue depending on how far you want to go. You could swallow, stand back and watch him erupt or your favourite, flip him over and fuck him.

They get dressed and your pay your fee leaving a huge tip. Business is good, you can meet your expenses and have a bit saved over to last you a few months.

So you want a perfect smile. You go to your dentist who recommends braces. You agree a treatment plan. You will wear the braces for about 9 – 12 months.  On the appointed day, after 2 hours of agonising pain the braces are fitted in. The dentist reels off a list of foods you can’t eat to avoid food fibres getting stuck between the teeth. You are ok with it. Then as you get out of the dentist’s chair, he says “Oh and no blow jobs”.
You sit back in the chair and tell him to take the braces out…………