Sex During Lent

It is lent. It’s the period between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday when for 40 weekdays the Christian Church is devoted to fasting, abstinence and penitence. Broadly speaking it is meant to signify the 40 days Christ spent in the wilderness enduring the temptation of satan.

Most people give up one form of food or the other for lent.  I know at work people are giving up chocolates for lent. Mostly the big-boned, Precious-looking (I can’t say fat) women who swoop down on chocolates left on the table for everyone. They carry out a reconnaissance mission over table every 30mins, taking one each time until all the chocolates have gone. Then Precious yells out, “The chocolates have all gone. Melanie took the last one”.  Melanie is slim, so they seem to think blame is like fat, so she has plenty of room for more.

I hardly eat chocolates so I don’t think that would be challenging enough for me to abstain from. I could give up pain au raisin from my favorite French bakery. They make them with rich fluffy buttery pastry and they do not scrimp on raisins. The smell of the freshly baked pastry calls out to me every time I walk past the bakery on my way to and from work. No matter what time of day I pick one up, they are always warm and moist. They are a delight to eat. They are my other guilty pleasure.  Giving all that up however would mean, losing a bit of weight around the gut. This would make me vain and mean its all back to me. This would not allow me reflect on the essence of lent.

What I can abstain from though, is slamming nice juicy muscular butts for 40 weekdays between Ash Wednesday and Easter Sunday.  Yes, I will make that sacrifice. I shall give up sex for lent.

All pending booty calls have been summarily cancelled since Ash Wednesday.  This has caused a lot of consternation among my muscular, clean, bubble butt hook ups. They have been relentlessly calling me. Temptation. Get ye behind me, satan.

One even resorted to sending me pictures of his butt in different alluring positions via Whatsapp. No Weapon but before me shall prosper.

But no!! If the Lord Jesus Christ can go without food and water for 40 days and nights, the least I can do is take a break from slamming a butt repeatedly from the side, the top, bottom and finally finishing off from behind, for 40 days and night.

I will let you know how I get on.

Shit, the next forty days will be hard. 

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