A Typical Sunday In the Life Of An Online Sex Addict.

Sunday:

08:00. I wake up and reach for my Iphone and check Grindr. I fell asleep last night still logged on. There are 23 messages waiting for me. I go through them. There are messages from guys coming back from clubs. All probably high on something. I respond to a few that are worth shagging. The rest don’t float my boat. And that’s bad considering it is first thing in the morning and I have arisen in more ways than one.

08:30. No response to my replies on Grindr, They have probably all passed out. I get out of bed. Brush my teeth; go to the kitchen to grab some cereal and toast. I sit on the sofa with my breakfast. Switch on the telly and turn to the news channel. Save The Children advert comes on, telling me malnourished Kofi and Adesha, will probably be dead before I finish eating my cereal.  These commercials are strangely well timed. They always come on when I am about to eat. Sometimes I wonder if I am being watched. I switch channels. Nothing interesting on the box. I concentrate on breakfast.

08:40. I finish my breakfast despite Kofi and Adesha, who by the way are still alive. I know this because the same advert has come on again. I mute the volume on the TV and turn to my laptop. Check my e-mails and check facebook.

Its clear from the latter, most of my “friends” had a goodtime at the club last night.  Why they decide to reveal the different types of drugs they took and who they copped off with at the club is beyond me.  As is customary after such heavy nights, a few break-ups were announced. But I am confident; that they will get back together by the time the drugs wear off, say around 8pm.

09:00 I open my multiple gay profiles. A good number of messages this morning.  Some hotties, some notties and some maybes. The notties don’t read my profile or read it but ignore the requirements hoping I wouldn’t notice and still fire off messages.  Some hotties don’t even know their own requirements.  A message from a hotty that wants to hook up. I go through his profile and realise I am above his stipulated age criteria. I point this out to him. He replies that it is fine; since he contacted me he is making an exception; thus implying he is doing me a favour. I tell him to go fuck his exception.

Another message from a guy named Jim. He has pictures of his face, dick, ass and balls in his profile.  For good measure there is a picture of him getting fucked for all to see. He says he is discreet.  I think “discreet” now means not screaming out loud while getting fucked.

10:00.  I really must get off my laptop and do some chores; but there are a few promising guys on line.  I send off messages to a couple of them. Lets see what happens.

10:15. I get a response back from one of them. He is willing to meet up on his way back from the gym, later in the day. We exchange numbers. Lets see what happens.

10:30. Grindr comes back alive. One of the messages wants to know if I had any “T” in the house. (I remember when that would have meant real Tea or variety of Teas). I said no.  Heard nothing back from him.

10:35.  Message on Grindr. White mid 40s (so he claims) guy wants me to come over and fuck his drugged up Thai boyfriend, while he watches. I block his profile.

11:00.  Message from Gym boy. He can come over at 1pm. I ask him to send a text, when he is on his way and I will send him my address.

11:15. I tidy up the living room and bedroom. Between that however, I check for more messages and send some off.  I get a message asking me to fuck bareback. I ask him if he is HIV positive. He says no, but he just likes to bareback, because he likes the feeling of raw dick in his arse and he is allergic to rubber.  Block

12:30. I have a shower.  More messages on Grindr. A hot guy wants to come over at 1pm. Typical. You cruise for a shag all morning and they all want to show up at the same time. I tell him I will be available at 3pm. He can’t do 3pm. His boyfriend will be home by then. I double-check his profile. It did state “Single”. I point this out to him and he says “Oh we just started dating”.  Heavens!!!

13:00.  No message from Gym boy. I go back on line to check for more messages and cruise.  Message arrives from large/average body type guy, who says he knows I want athletic/muscled guys, but he just started going to the gym 5 times a week the last 3 weeks. And would I like to meet anyway?

I tell him, I like the fact that he read my profile and understood my requirements. However, at this point I will decline the offer and would like him to continue the gym routine and contact me 6 months. Oh and that he might want to consider getting a nutritionist as well to help speed things up.

I really must log off and sort my day out. Let me just check for new profiles one last time……..

14:00. Gym boy sends text, says he ran into a friend in the gym and that they were going to have coffee. Can we postpone till 5pm?  (In London gay terms, this means he is hooking up with someone else and he will be free at 5pm.) I say fine. Hope to see him later. (In my terms this means, fuck off).

I really must log off and sort my day out. Let me just check for new profiles one last time……..

14:15. – 17:00. Continue cruising on line.  Sods law. The ones I want are not available, and the ones I don’t want keep hitting me up. I get a lecture from a guy who didn’t meet my profile requirement, saying it wasn’t all about muscles and sex. How about connecting with the other person and getting to know them better? I ask him to try facebook. Block.

More folks on Grindr as well. Some skinny twink says we should meet up because he is a “hungry bottom”. I told him to go get something to eat.

Another message from someone I had not replied.

He: You could reply.

Me: Or I could block.

He: Go for it

I press block.

Finally, get a reply from one of the hotties I messaged earlier in the day. He says he is with his friends who are chemed up and would come over later, when his friends have settled down. Presumably, he is not chemed. But I know there is no point arranging anything with him. He could be there the rest of the day, waiting for them to come down.

1730. Have a late lunch. Text message from gym boy, asking for address – I ignore text.

1735. I am still online cruising. Something has to happen.  Hoping someone hot, drug and drama free would want to hook up and soon. I log off and log back on, so that my profile is on the first page of my area. This should get my profiles on the first page on each site and give me more visibility.

I start going through the numerous profiles to see if anyone new and interesting has logged on.

I see a profile of a guy who was 45 years old last year. But for some inexplicable reason, he is now 35years old!!

I get another message from someone who has a 2004 date stamp on his pictures.  Pretty hot pictures too, nice muscled body. I ask him how old the pictures were and he swears they were taken the month before. Either he just stole them from someone else last month or he is lying about his physique.

I really must log off and sort my day out. Let me just check for new profiles one last time……..

18:30. Gym boy calls. Leaves message.  He says he is now ready to come over. I might be horny, but I rather beat myself off than shag him. Will not let him think I have been waiting for him for 5 hours and have not had a shag. It is all about posturing. I reckon when we chat again he will be more keen and on time.

18:40 – 21:30. I search through the pages looking at profiles.  Come across a profile of a guy that goes to my local gym.  Says he is masculine. In reality he reminds me of Louie Spence.

Receive a message from a nice young thuggish guy, who wants me to pay for his transport fare to come over to mine.  I say no can do. He insists he would show me a good time.  Well that might be the case, but I don’t think my wallet can take the pressure. Block

Another message from a guy in his late 40s, 100kg and 5’8” with a big belly but insists he is muscular. He wants me to fuck him. I refuse. He offers to get some other “muscular” blokes for me to fuck, while he watches.

I tell him I would take up his offer when Cheryl Cole actually starts singing live.

21:40. Just realised I have done fuck all today?? Shit! This always happens to me.

I really must log off and sort my day out. Let me just check for new profiles one last time……..

PS: Does dropping heavy weights loudly on the gym floor make muscles grow bigger???