Here is an e-mail I received from a friend the other day. It was longer than this and more confusing than one of Busta Rhymes’ raps – so I had to edit it for clarity.
The real names of the individuals and location of the events have been removed, not just to protect the innocent (hell no), but to make it more difficult for you to track them down. I mean this is the Facebook age and we are all only separated by 2 clicks.
As you know the nature of my job means I am often away from home and stay in a hotel. Being a single guy, there are times when I find “entertainment” keep boredom away.
My colleagues and I have been at this hotel for months and we have developed friendships with the hotel staff. They are quite hospitable and genuinely nice. One of my work mates J, is a good-looking black guy, is of average height and you can tell he spends a few hours in the gym each week. He is a genial fellow and has time for everyone.
He uses the hotel gym most mornings and chats with the other regulars, especially R. R does not stay in the hotel, but lives nearby and uses the gym before going to work. R would get on the step machine next to J and they would have generic conversations about the weather (as you do in Britain) and work.
The other day at the hotel reception desk, one of the receptionists A, asked J if he knew anyone who worked for our client company with a similar sounding name to his and was black as well. J didn’t know, but when he asked A for more details to help find this person, it turned out that a friend of A’s has taken a fancy to this person and he works out in the gym at a particular time most mornings and they had met once in the hotel bar.
J figured out he was the one, as the gym timings matched his and has not seen another black guy at the gym (apart from yours truly) and deduced that A’s friend was R! (They had met briefly in the hotel bar one evening). Poor R couldn’t even get his name right. Not a good start to a romance.
When A was telling J all this, there was another receptionist C, listening to the conversation. I have seen the way C looks at J; it is a smidgen more than how a hotel receptionist looks at a hotel guest. (Think female Twilight fan looking at R-Pat). She has asked him about his biceps before and how he manages to stay fit. You could say she was just being friendly. But I had a feeling that it was more than that. Her flirting body language and the way she tosses her hair back when speaking to him…Nah, sum ting ain’t right. So it is safe to surmise that C fancies J as well.
Then this morning, I saw R visibly upset and I overheard her complaining to one of the gym attendants that C has been giving her attitude lately by asking her for a gym pass when she walks past reception to go to the gym and just being generally difficult and rude. R said she might have to report C to management, if this behaviour continued.
I am also mildly friendly with these women but obviously not at superstar level like J. And this could turn out to be nasty and embarrassing for all concerned but still somewhat entertaining.
So I was wondering, when would be the right time to get the ladies round together and tell them (from first hand experience of course) that J is an avid cock rider and gives the best blow job this side of England?
and cue music and roll credits