Nigerian Anti Gay Bill – An Open Letter to President Jonathan

Heeeyyyyy Mr President, How you doin? *wink wink*

Just thought as it seems to be the season for open letters, I should drop you a quick line. I can’t write up to 16 pages like the other open letters addressed to you recently because we are both busy people: I have a shag coming over in 30mins and you have homosexuals to oppress.

Ekuse o. Well done. I see you have been busy signing bills into law like your life depended on it. In particular, the ban on same-sex marriages and civil union bill.  The bill goes as far as prosecuting anyone suspected of being gay, with a maximum 14 year jail sentence if found guilty. And anyone who doesn’t report a same sex relationship will also get a jail term. According to your office, the reason you signed the bill into law is because it was “consistent with the attitudes of most (nigerian) people towards homosexuality…”

Would that be the same people who have been asking for basic needs like food, clean water, roads, hospitals, proper education system and security? The same people asking for justice for widows, pre-teen girls being forced into marriage and the elderly? Did you miss those bills to sign into law?

My president, please allow me to say  on behalf of all forward thinking citizens of the world and from the bottom of my duodenum, that you are a YAM-HEAD. (There I said it)

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